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When I travel by plane I'm always reminded of the "way things are". It is a fact of life that we must care for ourselves before we can effectively care for someone else. That's why flight attendants instruct us before every flight, "position your own oxygen mask before assisting others traveling with you". The lesson: You can't help anyone, if you are incapacitated. So I want to start this series by pointing out some critical things that need to in place for YOU so that you can be an effective parent and advocate for your child with special needs.

1 - A Personal Network of Support

Dealing with the emotional turmoil of a new diagnosis is difficult, however it certainly isn't the last emotional strain that you will face as you advocate for your child with special needs. It's important to develop your own ongoing, personal support system. And remember, "Wider is better"! Often just identifying and writing down all the support available to you will help you feel less isolated and more positive.

Tip: Consider all of the support options available to you - mentoring by another parent, local support groups, online discussion lists, web-based membership sites and decide which fits your needs and lifestyle the best.

Local professionals that can offer support and point you toward available resources include:
· Family doctor
· Specialist
· Physical therapist
· Occupational therapist
· Speech therapist
· Case manager
· Parent advocacy trainer
· Special education or resource teacher
· Inclusion specialist
· 504 Coordinator

Note: There are literally thousands of discussion lists, forums, newsletters, and experts available on virtually any diagnosis you could name. To find a variety to choose from, just type the following into your favorite online search engine:

"the diagnosis + type of support".

For example: "ADHD + discussion list" produced 27,800 choices in less than 1 second at my favorite search engine.

2 - A Problem Solving System

As this column continues, you will learn lots of practical advocacy strategies to help you in supporting you child, however even the most comprehensive advocacy training cannot possibly anticipate every challenge you may face. Because of this truth, an essential skill for any parent/advocate to develop is the ability to SOLVE PROBLEMS as they come up.

You need to know:
· Who to call
· Which experts to trust
· How to research options

The idea behind the Problem Solving Folder is to:
· Help you identify all of the help readily available.
· Organize contact information so that it will be easy to access in a few days or a few months when you need it.
· Offer you that sense of confidence that you aren't all alone in facing this challenge.

Instructions for making a Problem Solving Folder:

1. Select a brightly colored folder that won't be easily buried in mounds of paperwork.
2. Identify what information you want to keep in your folder. Possibilities might include:
· A list of your personal support network along with contact details.
· A reference list of the categories included in your advocacy notebook.
· Emergency contact information for professionals that you are likely to need (family doctor, primary specialist, emergency room, mental health center, mental health center emergency contact, respite care providers.
· An emergency information form for each child with special health care needs.
· A list of contact phone numbers or email addresses for mentor parents in your area (along with their area of expertise) who are willing to offer moral support and/or advice.
· A list of recommended area professionals who have experience with individuals who have special needs (this might include doctors, dentists, specialists, therapist, psychologists, psychiatrists, counselors, teachers, etc.)
· A list of recommended websites or online resources that offer reliable information, answer questions promptly by email or in their forum, and provide genuine support.

3 - A Stress Management Strategy

As one advocate put it:
"I don't suffer from stress. I'm a carrier!"

For most advocates -- stress isn't a possibility, it's a CONSTANT. So it's vital to have stress management techniques that WORK FOR YOU and that you are comfortable using. Times of high stress are not the time to be learning a new technique. So practice your stress management system of choice regularly and have it ready to PULL OUT & USE when needed.

Raising a child with special needs is challenging to say the least, but you don't have to do it all alone. Check back often and I'll help you navigate the maze -one hurdle at a time.

Article Keywords: Special Education

A Quick Note From The Publisher... If you like the article above, you may be interested in the following article which is also related to Special Education... 11 Effective Ways to Make Playtime Fun for Children with Special Needs To get the most from playtime activities you have to stick to a set of rules. The rules may change according to the child but generally these rules help to achieve constructive play gaining the benefits listed above. Play it their way - Encourage them to pay the games they like to play. If they show an interest in a certain sport or activity then GREAT! Let them play their games and so that they can get the release that they will feel good about. Exposure to new things - Children with social disabilities often seem like they are not interested in new things but sometimes exposure to new games and activities sparks of an interest that they really get enjoyment from. This also helps them to build on their experiences and broaden their learning. Great mind think alike - Find other people that share the same interests. This may seem like an impossible task but you will be amazed at what goes on in the houses you are surrounded by. Other disability support groups are often a great place to meet like minded people who will share their interests willingly. This will be a great way for them to have a little social contact that doesn't end up in tears. Go when the crowds are gone - If children show a particular interest in activities but are put of by the crowds then find a time when the crowds are gone. This is often good to help them do something they really enjoy. Follow the leader - Let them take the lead. If they want to play in a certain way then you may find that letting them express themselves is a good way to help them vent their built up frustrations. Take your time - Let them take their sweet time to enjoy an activity. If they are forced to rush through a game or sport then it may not be so enjoyable and the...